"What is there to say? Everything is hard. Returning phone calls. Not choking when I try to speak. Getting out of bed. What is there to do? I put foot in front of foot and trust that I will not wobble enough to give myself away. Pour concrete into my mouth to have an excuse for struggling with answering questions. Stare at the window. Look at hills and think of five years from now, of eventual sleep, of digging a hole and jumping inside. I train myself to half-listen when others speak and still hear the noise in my chest. I nod appropriately. What else is there? Get up. Go. Go. Go. Pause. Go. Accelerate. Go. Go go go. No stop. No exit. No time to reflect. Just experience after experience, and then the shaky seconds spent recovering from them. Pouring black coffee into wounds. Getting your feelings hurt over people who are not thinking of you in that way, have never thought of you in that way. Wasting time playing the game, the same game, hoping it will work this time around. I have put all of my effort into things that never wanted me back, in hopes that I could change the outcome. How else can I communicate this? I do not want to try anything, with anyone, anymore."
don’t stare at the moon too long or else you’ll remember that nothing in this stupid fucking world makes sense
Things that will make me fall for you:
- singing around me, even if you’re not the best
- talking about movies and books you love
- telling me jokes, yes including the stupid ones
- sharing your music with me
- really talking to me…about your life and your future etc.
- maybe liking me back?
It’s time for us to stop saying we’re ok when we’re falling apart inside.
It’s okay to cry.
It’s okay to be angry.
It’s okay to make mistakes.
It’s okay to be disappointed.
It’s okay to let your heart break.
It’s okay to be vulnerable.
It’s okay to feel the depth and fullness of your emotions, even when they are painful. What will it take for you to allow your heart to just break? What is stopping you from just letting your heart open up? I think you and I have been taught wrong.
We can feel bad and recover.
"your twenties are a time of exploration, not certainty. get out and try, dont sit at home thinking you should already know"
One Line Movie Review: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day